bright eyes + blue eyes

Baby Love

I am a proud aunt, once more. Abbie and Hunter welcomed a precious baby into their family last week. I’ll let Abbie tell the story once she’s all adjusted and settled in with their new, sweet little bundle. But I just couldn’t hold back on sharing the wonderful news about my new nephew!

Praise God from whom all blessings flow!!

community group weekend retreat

In January 2008, our family started meeting with a handful of other families every Sunday night. A new community group was born. Our friends Jonathan and Rebecca were the initiators for this group, and they also hosted us about 99% of the time.

It would be great if we could send Jonathan and Rebecca to various churches and seminaries around the country to teach a class called Biblical Hospitality 101. They're such an incredible family, and their home has such a tangible sense of warmth and welcome. 

If you're not familiar with the term "community group", let me explain what it means in this context. A community group is a small subset of a church. Here's the idea: within the group, members will get to know each other much better than they would in passing on Sunday morning. Ideally (at least the way I see it), a church is full of lots of little community groups. Within these groups, people's lives are knit together in a really beautiful way...and the fabric of the church is strengthened.

People are encouraged. People learn more about Jesus by studying His Word alongside other believers. Families are nourished. Community group members share life with each other: the struggles as well as the joys. We also share great food with each other. Especially after Dale and Heather joined our group. (They bring incredibly delicious goodies to our meetings.)

We met with our community group on an (almost) weekly basis for three years.

Here's the format we used: We met on Sunday evenings. We met as families. All the kids played in the backyard. (Jonathan and Rebecca have the perfect backyard for this: lots of space to run and play, a zip line, a big rope swing, a trampoline, a swingset....)

The adults took turns alternating "kid duty." On one week, the men met inside and went through our Bible study (or book study..whatever we were doing at that point.) While the men met, the women visited and watched the kids outside. The next week, we would swap. The women would meet inside and then men would supervise the chicklets.

We would also bring food to share every week. Sometimes we would pick a theme (mexican food, for example) and we'd all chip in to bring various elements of the meal. Sometimes we'd just have a free for all & people would bring what they had on hand.

We also had a brief "all together" time each week. During this family time, we'd all sit together in Jonathan & Rebecca's living room. We were all there: the youngest baby all the way up to the oldest Scott/Stewart. (ha ha--I think you two win the prize for oldest. Am I right?) We'd sing a few songs together, share prayer requests around the circle, and then have a brief time of prayer. It was a wonderful time. It was also a time of pure chaos. (...Children's sqirms and squawks peppered our prayer & singing time.) But what a beautiful chaos--I'll particularly cherish those prayer time memories. 

Something really unique happened with this particular community group. When we started meeting, I expected that we'd really enjoy these meetings, and that we'd develop some nice friendships.

What I didn't anticipate, however, was the depth and strength of the bonds we would end up with as a group of families.

We went through a lot together. We prayed for each other. We laughed with each other. We cried with each other. We welcomed new babies into our group. We walked alongside friends who transitioned into new careers. We watched each other's children grow and mature month after month.

The end result was a group of people who feel sort of like extended family. Our bond with these families will be present for the rest of our lives; I can't fathom it any other way.

We've now transitioned into Phase II of our community group's lifespan. Some of us have moved away, and some have been called to different church homes. We all feel the pull to move on (in our new contexts), but none of us can bear the thought of this era being over. So we've decided to have Sunday lunch together about once a month. That'll be a great time to re-connect and stay in touch as the years continue to march on.

One thing I look forward to about the future is seeing how the children blossom into young men and women. I can't wait to see what each of them is called to do vocationally. I can't wait to see how they serve the Lord as adults and pour their lives out in His service. I can't wait to see how the Lord uses each of them in His kingdom. I can't wait for graduations, weddings, and milestones. They're such a wonderful bunch of kidlets.

In March of this year, our group finally did something that we'd been talking about for over two years. We were finally able to all carve out a weekend to take a trip together. Jonathan and Rebecca found the place--and they couldn't have found a more perfect setting/location.

Wow. 

We rented a huge log cabin in Dahlonega, Georgia. (It was HUGE! Big enough to sleep all six families comfortably.) We arrived on Friday late afternoon and left after lunch on Sunday. The retreat center where the cabin was located also had a family style dining room near our cabin. As part of our weekend rate, we were scheduled to eat four meals in the dining room.

So our meal schedule was like this:

• Friday dinner: dining room
• Saturday breakfast: dining room
• Saturday lunch: lunch on our own, in our cabin. We all chipped in and brought various things.
• Saturday dinner: dining room
• Sunday breakfast: dining room
• Sunday lunch: lunch in our cabin again before we all checked out

As you can imagine, having so many meals provided was a major PLUS. Preparing, serving, and cleaning up three meals on Saturday alone would have taken up the bulk of the day, which would've prevented us from having so much outdoor fun.

In terms of sleeping, we put all the older boys in one bedroom, all the older girls in one bedroom, and then each of the couples in one bedroom. Little children slept in their parents' bedroom (or in some cases, an adjoining room.) 

The weather was amazing throughout our retreat weekend. It was absolutely beautiful.

Here are some of the things we enjoyed during our weekend together. (Every person didn't do everything on this list. We split up part of the time when various groups wanted to do different things.)

• Took lots of walks. 
• Celebrated Hunter's birthday with a big cake. 
• Played tennis.
• Visited Amicalola State Park. (This was a major highlight of the weekend. We all loved it.)
• Waded through the creek.
• Played on the playground.
• Played basketball.
• Played cards.
• Crafting time: embroidery projects.
• Stayed up late.
• Enjoyed lots of great conversation.
• Watched NCAA basketball.
• Sat around the hot tub, chillaxin’
• Made bead necklaces. (kids)
• Watched Strawberry Shortcake movie. (girls)
• Played DS games. (boys)

All in all, a fun & memorable weekend. I cherish these people!

 

National Day of Listening

Who has been the kindest to you in your life?

When in life have you felt most alone?

Can you describe the moment when you saw your child for the first time?

How would you describe a perfect day when you were young?

Have you experienced any miracles?

Do you look at your life differently now than before you were diagnosed [with your illness]?

What traditions have been passed down in your family?

I think these questions are so interesting. They’re on the great questions list for the National Day of Listening. I love the idea of interviewing family and friends. It seems like such a luxury to set aside time to learn more about them, especially if they’re people who you’re already close to – your spouse, your brother, your daughter. Doing an interview with questions like this would allow you to probe into the parts of life that you don’t usually get to in everyday conversation. The recordings would be so priceless. This coming Friday will be the third National Day of Listening. I’ve never participated before, but I want to start. I think it would be such a cool annual tradition, to pick a person you’re close to and interview them. I don’t think I’ll be able to start on Friday, but maybe while we’re home for Christmas, I could interview someone. Any volunteers? If anyone who reads this decides to participate, let me know how it goes.

America, Here I Come!

Next week, I get to return to America after 25 months of being away. Hooray! I can’t wait to be back home!

...and just in time for the 4th of July. I'm gonna be one patriotic mama this year....

The very best part about being in America will be spending time with FAMILY. Whew, I’ll start getting tears in my eyes if I reflect on this point too long. Two years is a long time to go without being with my family. It was an absolute treat to see my mom and dad last year. Nonetheless, I am so overripe for a few hours of sitting in the living room with everyone laughing and teasing each other, while vaguely trying to play a board game somewhere in the background.

I am also so excited about: going to church, seeing friends, taking warm baths, listening to NPR, and eating American food (of course)!

brother love

I love my baby brother so much. He was born when I was 15 years old. I remember rushing home from school each day (9th grade)--eager to get to hold my tiny little bitty brother.

Last month, we got to travel back home to see him graduate from high school. What a fun weekend! We had such a ball. Lots of family. Lots of happiness. Lots of yummy food. Lots of laughter. (It doesn't get much better than that combo...)

My parents, whose first baby bird (me) arrived on the scene in 1976, actually have an empty nest now. 1976-2010...they should win an award. They've faithfully loved on their little birds all these years--so well, and for so long!

There was a brief moment of sadness when, during the graduation ceremony, Pumpkin started quietly crying. I whispered with her to find out what was wrong (which is tough to do discreetly, because she hasn't quite mastered "the art of the whisper" if you know what I mean...)....as it turned out, she had started to get the idea (I think it was due to all the talk during the ceremony about "leaving home" and "moving on"...) that we would never see Uncle Joe again because he wasn't going to live with Gingi & GPoppa anymore.

I was happy to explain to her that Uncle Joe would actually be living CLOSER to us than ever, given his college choice.

So, she perked up.

And I've let Joe know that I will be delighted to do his laundry and feed him home-cooked meals if he will please come visit us every once in a while!

Also on our trip home for graduation, we got to meet our precious new little cousin. (see yesterday's post)

To me, experiencing the joy of both graduation and new baby on the same weekend was really thought-provoking. It was a beautiful picture of how the Lord is at work from generation to generation--and how He gives us the privilege of pouring into the lives of our children (and brothers, and nieces, etc) from their very first days in this big, bright world that He made.

Someday in 18 years, we'll all gather in ____ (city to be determined!) to celebrate my niece's high school graduation...and to maybe, again, hold a new baby from another one of the branches of the family tree.

I'm feeling thankful for the past--thankful for the present--thankful for the future!

(Makes me think of that wonderful song from the 2009 Christmas performance...God of the Ages, History's Maker....)

* * * *

I will extol you, my God and King,
   and bless your name forever and ever.
Every day I will bless you
   and praise your name forever and ever.
Great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised,
   and his greatness is unsearchable.

One generation shall commend your works to another,
   and shall declare your mighty acts.
On the glorious splendor of your majesty,
   and on your wondrous works, I will meditate.
They shall speak of the might of your awesome deeds,
   and I will declare your greatness.
They shall pour forth the fame of your abundant goodness
   and shall sing aloud of your righteousness.

Psalm 145: 1-7

kitty cat

This post is in honor of my niece.  She’s always had a bit of an unexplained thing for cats.  No one in either side of her family is particularly into cats; we’re all more dog people, really.  But Pumpkin has loved cats from Day 1.  When she was very small and an adult would sit down to color with her, Pumpkin would always request drawings of kitty cats.

Now I am starting to get what Pumpkin sees in cats. 

A few months ago, we saw a mouse near our house, and we instantly decided that we should get a cat. A friend offered us a kitten from her cat’s litter, and I’ve really enjoyed having a cat.  She’s named Eliza, and she stays outside, so we don’t have any problems with allergies.  It’s fun to see all the things that she can climb and catch.  And it’s pure entertainment to watch her and the puppies play together.

dr. elementary school

One of our brothers is in medical school and is busy studying for a big exam. Hearing about Rob’s intensive studying made this fact about Tanzanian health care all the more troubling: 

A European friend was talking about his work as a physician in a government hospital in the region.  Our friend was explaining to us the different levels of medical staff.  There’s sort of a hierarchy of doctors, depending on their level of education and training.  The lowest level of doctor only requires the completion of elementary school.  Then a person can go on to pursue medical training and be called “doctor”. 

Rob is a very smart guy and a dedicated student, so I have no doubt that he will ace his test.  But in the event that things go badly, he can always consider coming to Tanzania to get licensed...

(P.S. No one can remember Rob’s “Blue Eyes/Bright Eyes” name.  I think it was either Baby Eyes or Hyperactive Eyes, but no one has a definitive memory…)

puppies

 

We lived in another house for our first six weeks in M.  Our first house sort of came with a dog, Nala, who had belonged to the previous residents.  One of the first things we noticed about Nala was that she was in heat when we moved in October.  Although neither of us knows very much about veterinary matters, it was pretty easy to tell that she was in heat because of her many male visitors.

Nala accompanied us to our new house and gave birth to five puppies in December.  We have had so much fun with the puppies since then.  We gave three away, and two puppies stayed with us.  The two who stayed are named Maggie and Chuck.  They are both really adorable.  Maggie is clever, stubborn, and is fanatical about food.  Chuck is sweet, cuddly and a little dopey.  His favorite thing is to try to catch grasshoppers in the yard.

Some things about having puppies are different here.  We don’t know if there is a vet in town, so the dogs have not gotten shots or checkups.  There’s no grocery store with bags or cans of dog food, so we cook their food ourselves every day.  I haven’t found anything that would pass as a decent collar or leash, so we have gotten creative when we want to go for a walk.

Even for the differences, many things about dog ownership are exactly the same.  The good thing is that all the best things remain.  Chuck and Maggie delight us with their wildly wagging tails, adoring eyes, and goofy cuteness!

 

mama, baba, dada, kaka

Genograms are a helpful tool when working with social services for children and families.  A genogram is sort of like a family tree, but it’s a little more nuanced.  Genograms have various lines and symbols to represent the relationships and tensions among the family.  Because family is defined in so many more ways than genetics, one often includes all of the individuals who “count” as family, regardless of whether that’s technically the case. 

I have not done a genogram with a family in Tanzania yet.  If I do, I will need to buy a roll of butcher paper first.  Families are vast. 

It’s not really the immediate families that are so huge.  These days, it seems most people have two to four kids.  (Well, I should clarify by saying surviving children; the infant and child mortality rate is pretty bad.) The thing that makes families so big is that question of ‘Who counts as family?’.

Obviously, mother (mama), father (baba), brothers (kaka), and sisters (dada) belong in the category of immediate family.  Tanzanians also include all maternal aunts and paternal uncles as parents.  So a mother’s sisters are also mama.  If she is older than the birth mother, she is called Mama Mkubwa – [Big Mama].  A younger sister would be called Mama Mdogo – [Small Mama].  So I am the Mama Mdogo to Pumpkin and Cowboy because I am their mother’s younger sister.  The biological mother is called Mama Mzazee – [Mother Who Birthed Me].  It’s all the same for the father and his brothers: Baba Mdogo, Baba Mkubwa, & Baba Mzazee.

All of the children of the Mamas and Babas are brothers and sisters, no qualification needed.  Aunts, uncles, and cousins are very important in the family, too.  They are the father’s sisters, mother’s brothers, and all their children.

It’s all a bit confusing to explain.  It’s confusing in practice to me still.  If, for example, I see Joyce and she introduces me to her mother, I have to stop myself from saying, “But wait!  I’ve already met your mom, and it wasn’t this lady!”  One must keep in mind that a person can have a multiplicity of mothers.

I suppose my familiarity with the world of adoption is helpful in appreciating the concept of having more than two parents.  While the whole system of parentage here seems a bit convoluted to me at times, I find a certain beauty in it.  Families around the world are often complicated and don’t abide by the rules of labels.  That is embraced here.  There is also a distinct sense of pride when it comes to family relationships here.  It is truly an honor to be a parent.  So I guess the more children one can call his or her own, the better!